Guest User 6/19/19 Guest User 6/19/19

Choose to see Opportunity over Offense!

Your relationship’s success depends on your choice to see that your partner expressing him or herself is an opportunity instead of a personal attack because it is different than you or your [unhealthy] expectation of them.

Guest User 6/10/19 Guest User 6/10/19

In your relationship, do you fight in despair or with repair?

The goal then is to understand what reality looks like from each other’s perceptions- the feelings and thoughts that happened to them. Each of your perspectives are right because they are unique to you. If this can become the goal, then you can move onto the five steps.

Guest User 5/30/19 Guest User 5/30/19

Are you sending invitations or accusations in your relationship?

If you’re a bit like me, most of the time you probably end up sending an accusation to your partner, essentially encouraging their defensiveness. And when they respond in defense, you get more frustrated and withdraw or reinforce the cycle of conflict.

Guest User 5/16/19 Guest User 5/16/19

A Framework for Relationship Success

The VALUES make up an acronym: Vulnerable, Accountable, Learning, Understanding, Empathy, Shared meaning. These six values are practiced to bring you into the connecting communication where it is possible to build trust, resolve conflict and deepen your intimacy.

Guest User 5/2/19 Guest User 5/2/19

The Four Horsemen are destroying your relationship

The communication you engage with your partner either brings connection or conflict. What this means is that when you are communicating with your partner in a healthy connecting communication loop, you are turning toward each other and reinforcing the relationship with your communication. When you are in a conflict communication loop, you are turning away from or often against your partner.

Guest User 4/23/19 Guest User 4/23/19

When you say “I understand…” Do you?

You already know that what you are doing right now doesn’t work. You are primed to try a different approach. Start this week by being open to your partner’s vulnerability and really trying to understand what they are saying.

Guest User 4/15/19 Guest User 4/15/19

Is your spouse someone to be loved, or fixed?

If you are a bit like me, you may not think something is done the way you think it should be, but you can appreciate the gift of them doing it.

Guest User 4/9/19 Guest User 4/9/19

Are differences between you and your partner causing tension?

As you get more familiar or comfortable with each other the desire to pursue them like you did while dating diminishes.

Guest User 4/3/19 Guest User 4/3/19

Why you don’t want a conflict free marriage…

The Gottman Institute, out of Seattle, has done a lot of research on this and shown that compatability or having “sameness” doesn’t actually create connection. It is actually the ability to meet your spouse in their difference with understanding and acceptance that creates connection.

Guest User 3/21/19 Guest User 3/21/19

Part 2: The second mental trap getting in the way of your dream relationship

You both can work together to fight the common enemy of being defensive. You can tag-team the role of healthy boundary setting to create mutual respect and care.